Many people believe to build self-esteem in children, the parents and teachers must be careful in the way they approach children and how they talk to them. This may or may not be true, but I believe if it is done wrong it could cause a worse effect. Self-esteem should come from success and not coddling by teachers and parents. Rather, the parents and teachers should assist the child in finding out what they are good at and helping them excel with their natural talents and or new learned skill.

In building self-esteem in this way it is reinforcing reality, rather than simply telling every child that they are great and important simply for being themselves. Because in the real world that is not necessarily the case; for instance the soccer player on the team should not have false self-esteem making them believe they are just as good as the star players unless they really are.

A false coddling by teachers and parents can cause a disenchanted youth who cannot compete to later on be devastated. There are too many suicides in college for this reason. Self-esteem should come from the actual success of the child in various endeavors and they may also need to understand if they do not work for that success then a false reality or false sense of self-confidence is unacceptable.

I find that too many in business, sports, politics and other human endeavors who think they are so great, for simply showing up, but in the end they cannot perform and I blame much of this on a false sense of reality that they have learned incorrectly along the way from their parents, mentors and teachers. We should not cloud the issues of self-esteem or how best to develop it, nor should we allow our children to hide behind false realities. Please consider all this in 2006.

"Lance Winslow" - Online Think Tank forum board. If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance; http://www.WorldThinkTank.net/. Lance is a guest writer for Our Spokane Magazine in Spokane, Washington

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